Your name is ????????...

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Your name is ????????...

Post  technoGender on Wed May 01, 2013 12:57 am

Like hell you are going to tell anybody your name, keep your nose out of other people's personal stuff until you get to know them.

You suppose you can spare everybody from feeling like they are a blind idiot with no imagination though. You're sitting alone in your apartment at your computer like you do every night when you are not working your shitty minimum wage job. The warm LED glow of your computer and the not-sarcastically warm glow of your blue LAVA LAMP lighting portions of your otherwise dank room, not dank like nasty or anything. It's just like dark dank, like the kind of darkness you would associate with a dank place. If you didn't spend most of your time like this you wouldn't be able to see half the shit in your room, such as your extensive collection of CONSOLE BASED SINGLE PLAYER RPG games and less extensive collection of FICTIONAL TIME TRAVELER MEMORABILIA, such as your SONIC SCREWDRIVER which has the authentic power to not work on wood and the un-authentic power to not work on anything at all and FLUX CAPACITOR, which you would only need a entire functioning DeLorean to mount it to for it to be hypothetically functional. However you have been giving your few hobbies less attention recently in exchange for harping after this particularly disjointed group of oddballs in one of the many MMORPG games you play called DARK BARNACLE: SOMETHING OR ANOTHER. You frequently enjoy such activities as dancing on their corpses, joining their raid and placing SILLY HATS on them, and mailing them items with CLICHÉ MACGUFFIN NAMES that they can't even use because they are the wrong class.

Not that they would ever willingly keep you on their PESTERCHUM list but you repeatedly hack your way back onto them so they are forced to look at your CHUMHANDLE technoGender and listen to your less-than-exemplary attempts at insulting them with []dd letter replacement... +yl[]ph[]ne
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technoGender

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Re: Your name is ????????...

Post  technoGender on Thu May 09, 2013 1:39 am

> TG: Do some wicked trolling

Ah yes, no day on Dark Pumpernickel: The Barnacling would be complete without your 'friends' being subjected to some of your legendary trolling shenanigans. You deftly manipulate the trading network to acquire one hundred Socks of Social Prowess off the market, a astoundingly useless item as everybody knows charisma is a dump stat. You deposit them upon your favorite target CheshireSmiling. As yes she shall be greatly displeased to see her mailbox has been filled and she can no longer receive other more useful mail. You wouldn't dare let anybody know but you have actually been keeping the player economy healthy and on it's toes for the past year, your constant buying of random junk and useless shit en mass circulates a surprising amount of money. With all the low level players who farm this crap vying for a portion of your vast reserve of sweet loot prices are constantly changing and making the market a dynamic place. Anybody with half a brain could easily work their way into ridiculous amounts of wealth thanks to your masterful manipulation of the market. But nobody knows its you and nobody ever will. You have brought upon the game a golden age of prosperity all in the name of trolling this select group of people. Truly you are the pinnacle of trolling.

> TG: Get off your ass and go find your guardian

Hell no, there is no point in doing that. You know she is at work today like she is every other day, her 'medical profession' keeps her occupied at all but the most wee hours of the day. Even if she was home she would probably be asleep right now, it's the beginning of most normal people's day. A.k.a. the sun rising. Oh wait the sun is up? That means it's time to hit the hay. You hate the sun, loathe it would also be an appropriate word. Besides you feel like you are going to need a good bit of rest, you have a feeling that after you wake up it is going to be one long ass day.
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Re: Your name is ????????...

Post  technoGender on Fri Jul 19, 2013 2:59 am

> TG: Lay down the bad burns on another chump

You figure your can put off taking a nap in exchange for practicing some more badass insults against another one of your fellow Dark Bumblefuck Cumberbatch players. Yes you think that would be reasonable use of your time. You begin a chat with arcWinter and throw down some sick insults but he is way to dense to appreciate your skills so you try another target, yeah CS seems like a promising prospect but she is way to busy throwing those evil love shapes at you and calling you a small cat. God dammit you are her rival (as you have been recently informed) you should be at each other's throats none of this hearts and calling of small mammals. You shut your laptop again, filled with fury and weird emotions.

> TG: Angry flip out and screeching

You dance around on your bed and over your tables, screaming random words and waving your sonic screwdriver around, utterly ridiculous.
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technoGender

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Re: Your name is ????????...

Post  technoGender on Wed Oct 02, 2013 2:21 am

> TG: Neglect to ever nap, crank up troll to a number that in close to the high thousands.

You heard from a probably unreliable source that something was going on between Alice and Austin, oh man your hate canon just got loaded with some prime ammunition. That makes a good sexual euphemism, you should save that for later to use as an actual sexual euphemism and not just a normal one. Back to trolling Alice and making fun of her lame sexual relations with other people.

> TG: Insinuate things about Alice's love life

Revenge is the best dish it doesn't matter the temperature, it's fucking delicious and you are having a three course meal of it right now she practically threw her computer off her desk she was so flustered. Yes you will revel in this victory for many measurements of time to come. You even manage to pluck a little extra info out of her on something else.

> TG: Double pester other people for some dirt on the new game

It was slightly less fruitful than your radical trolling on Alice but you scrounged together some info on the SBURB game from your utterly lame accomplices, and at the same time manage to whittle away your normal daily napping time down to nothing, now you are going to be unrested for the raid which is happening, oh it's actually about to start soon you better get to work.

> Log into DBTP early and minorly inconvenience everybody in the raid in half a dozen different ways

It goes without saying that you were completely successful in all attempts to troll everybody in the group, so much so you even got praise for your excellent tricks such as tying a bunch of bottles to the ship and constantly distracting everyone on the ride by pointing out things in the distance that were shiny, you also ended up killing a large portion of sea-life since you were making the ship sail across almost 100% soap-ified water.

> Sleep extra long because you missed your nap.

You commit to sleeping in a few extra hours so you are overly rested because have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a long day.
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technoGender

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Post  technoGender on Sun Mar 30, 2014 11:47 pm

> TG: Wake up, move like you gotta purpose!

Man how long did you even sleep? How many hours was that? Naps are the worst idea ever you are suppose to wake up refreshed but you just feel weird and angry and gross at the world. Oh well nothing you can do about it now, you clean yourself up some and head on over to your trusty laptop. Looks like that Sburb game finished torrenting! Brilliant you bring up the server program but for some reason it asks for a client to be running, when you open the client program it asks for a server and it doesn't seem to respond to your own server. What a load of crap, but nothing the internet can't handle.

> TG: Initiate pro haxxor skills, I mean use the search engine.

You mill around looking for guides to this game and seeing if anyone else has had similar technical problems as you, as expect you find the usual load of bullshit when it comes to looking up guides to games, people bitching about a problem, everyone saying that they have the same problem and then nobody actually ever offering a solution. After a few moments it strikes you to dig into an obscure website where you have always found good guides to before, you never mention the website to anyone because it's French and for some reason all of your friends seem to have a weird stigma when it comes to the European nation. Regardless of opinions on the country you can't deny that it gave you good results fast, at the top of the list for Sburb was a guide written by someone using the screen name "Minute Maid" and you briefly ponder if that is the actual correct spelling of the orange juice or not, you can't recall off the top of your head. After said brief moment of pondering you look through the technical part of the guide and discover that you need somebody else's server to use your client program, and someone needs your server to use theirs. Talk about forcing co-op.

> TG: Set the game aside, you have to go annoy people.

>View Pesterlog<


And annoy them you do, mostly about how you know all the sweet bits to running a game you only just downloaded thanks to some random stranger on the internet, first up is Alice, your prime target. Always a easy pick. Well normally she is but today she seemed rather distracted with Andrea, apparently the two had deduced needing one another to play and now Alice is too busy to be a good target because she is more concerned about Andrea and some ridiculous noise that is apparently driving them both bonkers. You do still manage to rub in the fact that you know what to do next and Alice promptly disconnects after you refuse to fork over the info.

> TG: Indirectly annoy Alice through second hand sources.

>View pesterlog<


Since everything seems to be about Andrea and the terrorist riot that is causing a ruckus outside her house right now you bring her upon pesterchum and in a ultra helpful and informative way tell her exactly what she needs to do to get the game running smoothly. Alice is sure to be even more upset now that her partner knows how to operate the game more than her rather than both of them being in the metaphorical dark about it. Your time talking to Andrea is brief however and you have the feeling most of what you said went through one ear and out the other. Oh well no skin off your nose.

> TG: What a unexpected turn of events! Alice talks to you!

>View pesterlog<


Oh, apparently Alice is upset and it's not directly because of you either, there is a meteor shower going on which was apparently the source of the noise driving them both bonkers, except now is it scaring Alice and making her exceptionally short tempered. After a moment of rolling around in the delicious anger that she is spewing forth she starts talking about dying and well, you just can't have that. A dead person make for poor trolling after all. You graciously offer your services as a server to which she briefly debates on taking or letting a giant space rock turn her into a black spot on the ground. Eventually she agrees and you pull up the guide. You read through it while wondering what kind of virtual-reality game this is to have such vague descriptions about the world, it's mostly just the process of what items you need to set up to get your base going, it kinda sounds like some weird minecraft clone but with odd names for everything. As both of your systems sync up you are momentarily caught offguard by the fact that Alice and her room are now on your computer screen, though the first thing out of your mouth... or fingers... typing that is... is a quip on the girl's height (or lack thereof).

> TG: Help Alice get her head in the game... ugh...

You gladly use your new found powers of manipulating Alice's house to trash it as much as you can while setting her up to play on her end, she gets progressively more angry at you while following your directions until she pelts the wall of her living room with a tiny bottle of airplane booze and the screen goes black. The gears in your head turn and you realize that the past few moments were sort of like some weird Alice in Wonderland reference, you bring up Pesterchum again (after having been promptly shut out by Alice) and exclaim how cool that was before remembering that there were other people around her place that you should probably check up on. Your game camera refuses to shift angles and you are stuck with a diagonal view of Alice's house in some kind of weird description-less void. Most of her yard is visible and there is a car with a pair of confusing looking dames standing outside the front door. You reassure Alice that you did not inadvertently kill someone before a rather loud and meteor-esque noise makes itself known to you from outside and in a rather hasty and abrupt fashion tell her that you gotta go.

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