Your name is ISAAC STONE

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Your name is ISAAC STONE

Post  blackoutPerfectionist on Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:08 pm

Your name is ISAAC STONE, and you are currently trapped on your couch.

You can't say you detest being trapped here, you have most of your INTERESTS within reaching distance, though you don't agree with being called a COUCH POTATO. These are unexpected circumstances conspiring against you. You spend most of your time on your COMPUTER playing VIDEO GAMES, MINDLESS OR OTHERWISE. You would call yourself quite the avid gamer, as is obvious from the large assortment of GAME CASES scattered across the room, the controller right next to your LAPTOP, and the GIGANTIC TELEVISION across from you. Seriously, this thing is ridiculous in size. You feel spoiled just looking at it, and definitely NOT FOR OTHER OBVIOUS REASONS ARE YOU KIDDING.

Your general interests tend to drift rather constantly, but the ones that have survived tend to be, as one of your dear friends would put it, "weeaboo shit". It isn't that you actually particularly care for ANIME or CARTOONS, it just turns out that you find real actors to be dumb, though you hold some exceptions. Nevertheless, you prefer animation over real actors. You prefer video games and books with a FANTASY setting, SCIENCE FICTION can just kiss your ass, and you still wouldn't care about it. Your interests in video games and essentially everything else tend to have a continuous coincidence that very few know what they even are, but you detest being called a HIPSTER. You obviously aren't. Obviously.

Your chumhandle is blackoutPerfectionist [BP], and you tend to speak in a manner that portrays zero interest, though that normally isn't the case

What will you do?


Last edited by blackoutPerfectionist on Sun May 05, 2013 2:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Your name is ISAAC STONE

Post  blackoutPerfectionist on Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:13 pm

>Isaac: Check limbs for significant damage.

Your hands are suffering minor stress after having interacted with your computer for so long, you should probably take a break from that. Your legs are in good condition, and by that you mean nothing is broken.

>Isaac: Free yourself from the bounds of your couch.

No.

It isn't that you don't want to, or that you're physically incapable of doing so, but you really just don't want to wake your dog Kelly sleeping against your legs. You've had painful memories of attempting to do something similar in the past. She's a vicious adorable bunny rabbit of a dog. You aren't entirely sure why you described her like that, though.

>Isaac: Experience painful memories of dog endeavors.

Flashbacks take effort, and cause you to move randomly during them, which may stir her awake, if by stir you mean she would wake up and bite you with abandon. Being her 3rd owner and acquiring her at 5 months of age with one of the previous owners being incredibly abusive, this shouldn't come as a surprise.

Instead of a flashback, you'll just give a brief description. If you or anyone makes any sudden movements while in the general vicinity of her, she will wake up and bite you with abandon. Being her 3rd owner and acquiring her at 5 months of age with one of the previous owners being incredibly abusive, this shouldn't come as a surprise.

You feel like you're looping in circles. No more shitty flashbacks.


Last edited by blackoutPerfectionist on Mon May 06, 2013 5:50 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: Your name is ISAAC STONE

Post  blackoutPerfectionist on Mon May 06, 2013 5:44 pm

>Isaac: Devise a strategy.

You will make use of your secret weapon...

You knock on the table in front of you as if it was a door. Kelly jumps off the couch and sprints downstairs barking uncontrollably.

You think you should consider this a brilliant success.

>Isaac: While you have the chance! Free yourself!

You stand up from the couch to stretch your legs. Might as well do something before you sit back down oh wait someone is pestering you.

>Isaac: Respond to this hooligan.

You probably shouldn't be so initially judgmental even when you don't know who it is. You'll just go into the conversation all sour like and the other person may not be too oh wait it's TG what a hooligan.

See Pesterlog:
-- technoGender [TG] began pestering blackoutPerfectionist [BP] --
TG: l[]ser McL[]sery
BP: hi
TG: what a creative greeting
BP: obviously
BP: what's up
TG: what else sh[]uld i e+pect fr[]m van lamesing the lamepire hunter
BP: sorry
BP: i think i'm too lame
BP: for lamepires
TG: yeah y[]u are
TG: anyways
TG: enj[]ying y[]ur dark barackable
BP: i can't decide
BP: on which class
BP: to use reasonably
TG: yeah it w[]uld be a shame if y[]u started t[] use []ne seri[]usly
TG: and then s[]mething were t[] happen
TG: like say
TG: a inb[]+ full []f level 1 hats
TG: suddenly arrive by p[]st
BP: oh god
BP: the last thing i need
BP: is not more hats
BP: are you going to give me hats
TG: 100 hats painstakingly farmed fr[]m level 5 []rc fl[]ppers
TG: i simply can't c[]ntr[]l these hats
BP: what would i even do with all of these hats anyways
BP: wow
BP: i guess hitler was right
TG: m[]re like hatler
BP: i would high five you for the pun
BP: but i think
TG: because he needed a hat t[] c[]ver up that h[]rrible hair
BP: i'm too lame for that
TG: yeah y[]u w[]uld like
TG: l[]w five me
BP: which bears the question
BP: of why you started talking to lamey mc lameface
TG: because y[]u have the prestige []f being part []f the fell[]wship []f the wingdings
BP: wingdings
TG: because wingdings is a stupid f[]nt
BP: oh, that
TG: s[] y[]u are dumb
BP: but if i'm the fellowship of the wingdings
BP: that means that
BP: i'm the one to destroy windings
BP: doesn't that make me
BP: not as lame
TG: ...
TG: shut up
BP: love you too
TG: FR[]DUMB BUTTINGS
BP: i see no pun potential here
BP: i may have failed you there
TG: THE WINGDINGS THING WAS G[][]D AND THEN Y[]U WENT AND
TG: AND
TG: DID
TG: L[]GIC
BP: so i guess
BP: coolcats are logical cats
TG: ASDFGHJKL HATS
TG: M[]RE HATS
BP: out of all of your hats, do you have a logical one to make me cool/not as lame
TG: LEVEL 1 P[]INTY HAT []F THE DUCK
BP: i
BP: guess that's logical?
TG: NEGATIVE RESISTANTS T[] BREAD BASED ATTACKS SHUT UP
TG: I CANT INSULT Y[]U PR[]PERLY
BP: is there a class
BP: that actually specializes in bread
BP: as a weapon
BP: because
TG: y[]ur m[]m specalizes in breast weap[]ns
BP: i might want to try it
BP: oof, wow
BP: awkward timing
TG: zing, yes i s[] g[]t y[]u
TG: []ut []f n[]where
TG: master sneak attack
BP: you're so pro that
BP: even you didn't anticipate your proness
TG: yeah i didnt that is h[]w g[][]d i am
TG: and then i will dissapear int[] the darkness t[] leave y[]u p[]ndering y[]ur superi[]r []pp[]nent
TG: sha-sha-sha-shaw!
-- technoGender [TG] ceased pestering blackoutPerfectionist [BP] --

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Re: Your name is ISAAC STONE

Post  blackoutPerfectionist on Thu Jul 18, 2013 12:37 pm

>Isaac: Escape from your prison while you have the chance!

Yes, it is finally time to escape from the confinements from the wrath of cozy purple couches, furry dog naps, and sheer laziness. It is time to be productive with your life. Time to go out there and make a name for yourself. Time to go out there and ooh look someone made a memo for you to waste more of your time on yay not doing things.

>Isaac: Respond to memo

You begin chatting with your friends from Dark Barnacle. The hard boiled discussion about local suburbs and questionably shitty games is breath taking. You're surprised you can even stick to this conversation and not have to smoke a cigar and spontaneously have a 5-o'clock shadow. It seems like Austin promised one of your other friends some help. The sheer speed at which he can level is ridiculous. Maybe he can help you catch up to the rest of your friends.

>Isaac: Ask Austin for assistance

You ask him on the memo since you'd rather not cover your screen in chats. You have too many things on your screen as it is. You should really bother to clean these up once in a while.

Looks like he isn't responding right now, though that's what you get for waiting 3 seconds and expecting an immediate answer. You close out of the memo. It's time to clean up this computer immediately.

>Isaac: Close everything in an epic montage.

It isn't that easy. Not only are there just so many notes on your screen, but not all of them are saved. You have to spend at least a half an hour slogging through this mess to see what is reasonable to keep oh god no windows bad update bad bad.

>Isaac: Grieve at the loss of all of that meaningless shit.

You slam you laptop shut and get off the couch. Fortunately most of that stuff was random, spontaneous thoughts that didn't matter anyways, but windows updates always get you angry. Always.
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Re: Your name is ISAAC STONE

Post  blackoutPerfectionist on Wed Sep 11, 2013 12:10 pm

>Isaac: Venture off into the wild blue yonder.

Well, you can't really go out to sea, that requires a car you can drive and a boat you can commandeer. Is that what that phrase actually means? You have no idea, and you'd rather just go outside than ponder about it.

==>

Today isn't the best of days to be outside. It's April, what do you expect. A few small trees scatter your backyard, along with a rather large apple tree that may or may not be dead or undead. You were never able to tell. Necromancy these days. A rather large building is just a few steps away from you house, which you and your family has termed as "the barn". It is by no means an actual barn.

What will you do?

>Isaac: Stop pondering your actions and go climb that (un)dead apple tree.

This is obviously the most important matter you could be attending to. You climb up the tree like nobody's business, reliving the days of your youth and heading out across the branches to your favorite spot to sit on the tree. You don't even need to keep your balance. Conveniences these days.

==>

You realize there really isn't that much to do in this tree. This tree wasn't ever exactly notorious for high climbing spots, or even many spots to climb to, really.

You should have brought your ocarina.

>Isaac: Fantasize about playing your Ocarina in the tree like some sort of fairy.

You've always meant to play your ocarina in this tree, or any other tree and throw caution and utter embarrassment to the wind and play your heart out. You've practiced many songs, both of your own invention and more classical tunes, but as quietly as you can. Frankly, you aren't sure if you actually know how to play any of these songs correctly, because you can barely hear yourself when you play in your room. You find it too embarrassing for your mom to hear you practice.

You remain confident that, if you ever did throw caution to the wind and played your ocarina at full volume, you would be the fairyest of all fairies. A damn good fairy.

>Isaac: Blatantly ignore your desire to be a fairy and investigate "the barn".

You succeed spectacularly and head over to "the barn". You're not sure why you call it that. Especially since it is an art studio.
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Re: Your name is ISAAC STONE

Post  blackoutPerfectionist on Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:49 pm

>Isaac: Peruse the assorted establishment of fine art like a gentleman.

You walk around the main room with paintings scattered across the floor and leaning up against the wall, but you only look over them quickly because you are a busy, busy gentleman. That, and you've seen these way too many times already. You hold your hands together behind your back to establish a gentlemanly composure.

>Isaac: Stop that.

Good idea. You never understood why gentleman do that. It's like a polite way to yell "look at my butt".

You lower the polite butt signal this instant.

>Isaac: Examine Room.

Artwork is scattered all over the place in what actually looks like the inside of a barn, except no manure, hay, animals, or anything "barn-like". The structure kinda looks like a barn. Looks like you solved that mystery. It was definitely something that needed solving.

To the left of the entrance is a hallway that has a door which is currently shut. In the main room, there is a door that goes upstairs with a door at the end of that, too.

Where will you go?

>Isaac: No.

You decide against both options and head back into your house. Nothing beyond those doors is interesting.

Nothing at all.

==>

As you open the door your dog starts barking like a mad man. Mad woman, maybe? Mad bitch, you'll stick with mad bitch.

>Isaac: Calm the "mad bitch".

You spread out your arms to signify that it is you who has barged into your own home unannounced. "Mad Bitch" accepts this intrusion and promptly runs away down the hall.

You're going to stop using "Mad Bitch" because that joke is already old.

>Isaac: Inspect the time and realize that shit needs to be done.

Looks like nothing needs any doing, yet. It's still 3 in the afternoon. You've got 6 hours until that raid whatever is happening. You should probably level your character some more in preparation, but you'd rather not. You could do other things instead of getting bored before the actual raid.

>Isaac: Waste way too much time on video games.

You almost succeed. You only wasted about an hour on a mindless video game that you completed years ago. But, Sburb. It tempts you so. You must know more.

>Isaac: Conduct Research.
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Re: Your name is ISAAC STONE

Post  blackoutPerfectionist on Mon Sep 30, 2013 9:52 pm

==>

As you're about to undergo the most important of research, one of your friends starts pestering you.

Show Pesterlog:

-- harmonicallyVivacious [HV] began pestering blackoutPerfectionist [BP] --
HV: héy héy héy héy
HV: héy héy héy héy
BP: hi
HV: i haaaavé a quéstion
BP: what?
HV: what do wé know
HV: about
HV: suburb
BP: hold on
BP: do we mean suburbs as in living quarters
BP: or sburb as in a game
HV: idk what is thé gamé
HV: i forgét thé namé
HV: suburb
HV: sublimé
HV: spongébob
HV: sométhing liké that
BP: yes, definitely spongebob
BP: we're going to play spongebob
HV: aw yéé
BP: but yeah
HV: wait was that sarcasm
BP: yes, yes it was
HV: oh
BP: i don't actually know much about sburb
HV: is it fun
HV: what did gamébro say about it
HV: has gamébro said a thing about it
HV: wé can always rély on gamébro
BP: do you actually think i pay attention to gamebro
HV: hés almost as good as gamégrl
HV: yéah trué you only réad gamégrl
HV: bc léts bé réal héré shés so much béttér
BP: okay yeah, she really is
HV: shé's got thé scorés cuz shé whoops butt and gamés hardcoré
BP: dang, i can't find my gamegrl magazine
BP: maybe i left it somewhere stupid
HV: did you éat it
HV: did your roommaté éat it
HV: do you évén havé a roommaté
HV: i bét hé até it
BP: not anymore, i do not
BP: let me tell you, it's lovely
BP: absolutely
BP: lovely
HV: maybé hé broké in
HV: and até it
BP: i don't think he knows where i live
BP: or at least i hope not
BP: oh god i have a stalker
HV: wéll
HV: anothér stalkér
BP: how can i not have more stalkers
BP: it's ridiculous
HV: maybé hé néédéd somé néw porn matérial
HV: so hé broké into your placé to watch you sléép
HV: but thén hé was liké
HV: no this is boring
HV: ill masturbaté to gamégrl instéad
BP: um
BP: ew
HV: what
BP: and dammit, how could he think me sleeping is boring
HV: idkman
HV: how could soméoné masturbaté to gamégrl
HV: thats just rudé
HV: and disréspéctful
HV: you gotta réspéct thé gamégrl
BP: i can't understand how people would get off to her handy info
BP: i mean, it's neat info
BP: but still
HV: "ohhhh yéah you gétcha héad in thé gamé ohhhhhhhh mmmph"
BP: i really
BP: really
BP: don't want to think of that
BP: ever
HV: lamé
HV: laaaaaaaammé
HV: laméo
HV: flaméo hotman
BP: oh god
BP: that was the worst combo of a chain of thought
BP: i don't want to combine roommate with aang no i don't
HV: léavé mé aloné my brain is wéird
HV: évérything is a chain that goés nowhéré
BP: okay crisis averted
BP: i just went downstairs and got my gamegrl magazine
HV: yay
HV: doés it say a thing
HV: about
HV: substitution
HV: or whatévér thé gamé is
BP: not really anything extraordinary
BP: something about an interesting gimmick of some kind
HV: is it
HV: motion controls
HV: is it a ddr mat omg that would bé so cool
BP: she references the sims a lot
BP: can you play the sims with a ddr mat
HV: omg is it liké a combination of sims and ddr
BP: we've solved everything forever
HV: up up down down léft right léft right FÉÉD YOUR SIM
BP: crisis averted
HV: what if it comés with an addon
HV: so you can sméll things in thé sims world
HV: liké wow how cool would that bé
BP: i would really not want to smell the piss of all of my sims wetting themselves
HV: oh yéah trué
BP: because obviously all of my sims would wet themselves
BP: they're so incompetent
BP: and also very small children
HV: wow
HV: léarn to také caré of thém béttér
HV: you sick fuck
BP: i try to make them do shit
BP: literally
BP: but
BP: then they're just like
BP: "no i wanna eat a couch"
BP: or something else incredibly stupid
BP: oh right, there is also something about co-op for sburb
BP: and no, don't ask me how that chain of thought works
BP: because it doesn't
HV: what
HV: how do you play co-op sims
HV: "oh héy i built your sims a néw housé but i lit it on firé hahaha"
HV: idk if thats viablé in sims ivé névér playéd sims
BP: wait
BP: you've never played sims
HV: havént had thé chancé to
HV: too busy with dbtp and pokémon and loz
HV: actually yéah thosé aré prob thé only gamés i évér play whoops
BP: okay that's fair
BP: because not only are those games great
BP: but sims is really boring
HV: so what youré télling mé
HV: is sublimination is going to bé boring
BP: not sure
BP: gamegrl doesn't think it is too bad
BP: but i think
BP: that this will be
BP: more of a one night stand
BP: then back to dbtp
HV: aré wé chéating on dbtp
HV: i'm morally against chéating
BP: uh
BP: can i say no
BP: just so you'll play sburb
HV: so wé'ré not chéating on dbtp
BP: yes
HV: aré wé bréaking up with it and thén réalizing our mistaké and thén gétting back togéthér with it
HV: will taylor swift writé a song about this
BP: is that what taylor swift does
BP: because wow what a slut
HV: yés
HV: woah théré dont usé slut as a dérogatory térm
HV: racist
BP: female is now a race
BP: got it
HV: dié cis scum
HV: sorry did i offénd you
HV: :c
BP: what
BP: no
HV: sorry i turnéd into a social justicé workér
BP: yeah you should feel bad about that
HV: will you évér forgivé mé
BP: will you play sburb?
HV: ... finé
BP: then yes i do
HV: but only if alicé and évélyn play too
HV: alicé and évélyn aré objéctivély thé bést
BP: well then, guess we'll have to persuade them as well
HV: i wanna kill off all théir sims
HV: itll bé gréat
HV: wé can namé thém aftér éach othér and watch thém fall in lové
HV: and thén brutally murdér thém
BP: what an incredible fanfic
BP: i approve
HV: thats not a fanfic thats réal lifé
BP: are you a murderer
HV: of sims yés
HV: i am a sims murdérér
HV: but thats about it
HV: i dont réally liké killing things that much
BP: depends on what i kill
HV: i méan évén in vidéo gamés its liké
HV: méh
HV: liké i féél bad but i know i kind of havé to to béat thé gamé
BP: you should try to play ocarina of time without killing anything
BP: oh wait that's impossible
HV: yéah i know
HV: ivé triéd
BP: just kill everything with deku sticks or something
BP: then it will just be like knocking them unconcious
HV: yéah i guéss
HV: i méan i guéss if its kill or bé killéd
HV: its okay
HV: but
HV: mindléss killing moré liké no
HV: why do vidéogamés havé to bé programméd that way
HV: why cant you just liké
HV: logic thé énémy down or trick it into a trap or sométhing
BP: because people think anything that isn't combat is boring
HV: combat is fun
HV: but
HV: doés it havé to énd in déath????
HV: :c
BP: death makes people think it is mature and grown up and shit
BP: when really it is probably much more immature
BP: well
BP: unless the game actually makes death a serious thing
BP: and not just blood everywhere and being a badass
HV: i wish gamés wéré moré liké that oné xkcd comic
HV: that givés you littlé snippéts of that pérsons lifé whén you kill thém
BP: but then that would just make me feel bad
HV: wéll maybé you shouldvé félt bad to bégin with
BP: maybe
BP: well, i think i'm going to grab some lunch
BP: maybe you can convince evelyn to play
HV: okay
HV: you havé fun
HV: grabbing lunch
HV: you grab that lunch
BP: i will grab it so hard
BP: and it will be
BP: very
BP: very
BP: lunchy
HV: o-oh
-- blackoutPerfectionist [BP] ceased pestering harmonicallyVivacious [HV] --

==>

Before you actually go grab lunch, you figure you can at least check the internet for something sburb related instead of just Gamegrl. You perform the most logical method in researching sburb. You promptly open a google and type in sburb. There is no way this could ever fail ever.

==>

And... it's just online versions of the Gamegrl article on sburb, which you've already read. Oh wait, there is also a gamebro article on it. Probably doesn't have anything useful though, Gamegrl will always be your go to source of information that you don't really mind not having.

>Isaac: Go grab some lunch or something.

You do this so hard. It doesn't seem like your Mom is around currently. You're not sure why this is of actual importance, she'll be home soon enough anyways.

Wow, this lunch is very lunchy.

>Isaac: Inform Austin the intel of Sburb.

You figure you should convey the intel to Austin. Hopefully he'll actually join you in playing this game. You swear, sometimes you think all he ever talks about is Dark Barnacle.

Show Pesterlog:
-- blackoutPerfectionist [BP] began messaging arcWinter [AW] --
BP: hey, so gamegrl intel has arrived about sburb
AW: oh my Cage.
AW: tg was just caring about suburbs, and now you too.
AW: what happened to having a brain??
AW: I trusted you.
BP: i really need to learn to type faster
BP: what i was going to say is
BP: the game is co-op
BP: do you wanna be my co-op buddy
AW: I kind of already challenged alice to a deathmatch in the game, so...
AW: yes.
AW: our combined might shall leave her and her allies no chances.
AW: especially since I think jeff is conspiring with her.
BP: okay sweet
BP: ...
BP: i hate to ask this
BP: but
BP: have you ever played the sims?
AW: no, but I've seen enough screenshots to get the basic idea.
AW: you torture the innocent inhabitants of a virtual town, right??
AW: have them piss their pants in public and then set their houses on fire.
BP: well, if you want to play the awesome way, yes
BP: but apparently
BP: sburb has similar mechanics
BP: according to gamegrl
AW: okay.
AW: so I should start playing sims to bone up on my suburb expertise.
BP: uhh, sure
AW: that was a joke.
BP: though to be honest, how the hell you will play and not be bored within 5 seconds is beyond me
BP: oh okay phew
AW: it implied I would be gaming on something that is not dark barnacle: a ridiculous fantasy.
AW: which you should be playing now, and getting a character at least past the first exfoliatier for the raid tonight.
BP: ugh
BP: see, i got a character up a couple of levels
BP: but then i realized
BP: that i should ask what class would be best for me to level for the raid
AW: literally any of them.
AW: as long as you gear up correctly.
AW: and I can help you with that.
BP: neat
BP: do you guys need a healer
AW: ...
AW: are you going to be group bitch again??
BP: ...
BP: you're right, i should try to avoid shit like that
BP: especially after...
BP: last time
BP: shudder
AW: yeah.
BP: *shudder**
AW: just go with your eyelineranger and crowd control everywhere.
BP: works for me
BP: well, i guess i'll start working on that
BP: while also trying to scrounge up more info on sburb
BP: what level should be my goal for this
AW: at least the second exfoliatier, so maybe around 25 or so??
AW: also ignore suburbs.
AW: never play suburbs.
AW: there are no suburbs, everything is urban life.
BP: i really wish i could find a title for sburb that wasn't sburb
BP: because it really seems like sburb is an abbreviation
BP: but oh god, that's like
BP: oh wait, that's only like 3 levels
BP: i forgot i got an eylineranger so high up
AW: stupidly boring, unrelentingly retarded bullshit.
AW: that is what sburb stands for, you're welcome.
BP: obviously
BP: but
BP: you still need to win your death match
BP: or whatever competition
BP: okay, off i go to get some actual levels
BP: have fun
AW: cya.
-- blackoutPerfectionist [BP] stopped messaging arcWinter [AW]  --

>Isaac: Get down to Dark Barnacle business.

You promptly log on to Dark Barnacle and go onto your Eyelineranger. Maybe you could get up another level before the raid. Hopefully you won't be entirely useless when the time comes. You've been babied with sweet hand-me-down gear and advice for so long, and everyone is still way ahead of you.

==>

Wow, where did the time go? It's almost time for the raid. You got so excited with all of these new quests that you actually had to bother translating into english. You're so used to just mindlessly repeating the same beginning quests over and over with each new character you make, that you're finally experiencing new content.

>Isaac: Proceed through the raid in a montage style.

So... reasonable.

==>

You drag yourself out of bed. That raid was intense last night. You're surprised how useful you felt during that, though you aren't sure if you were actually useful or just not constantly dying.

>Isaac: Examine Clock.

Wow, maybe you actually overslept for once. That'd be a new and shitty experience to deal with. Then again, your definition for oversleeping is probably everyone else's rooster wake-up call. You were amazed at everyone's tenacity and not-passed-out-ness during that raid.

It looks like it's still a tad too early for the mail to arrive. You might as well get in touch with everyone before you get your hands on sburb.

>Isaac: Establish Contact.

Looks like nobody is online yet. Yep, just as you thought. Roosters.

You forget the correlation between roosters and your friends. It's still kind of early for you to make snide remarks.

>Isaac: Acquire Sustenance

You go downstairs to the kitchen. Good god you forgot how white this floor is, the reflecting sun really doesn't help seeing after staring at that computer screen for so long last night.

==>

You pour yourself some cereal with your eyes closed. Using your fingers to measure the amount of liquid inside your bowl. Out of all of the things that will happen today, this will probably be your greatest achievement.

==>

You return to your computer, with your bowl in hand. You used to trust a cereal bowl with your sylladex until you accidentally dropped it onto the table from several feet up. You prefer not getting liquid all over your laptop, thank you very much.

You proceed to watch random tv shows on your computer while keeping pesterchum up. Hopefully somebody will show up before the mail arrives. You bet at least one of your friends already has the game.
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blackoutPerfectionist

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Re: Your name is ISAAC STONE

Post  blackoutPerfectionist on Sun Mar 23, 2014 8:25 pm

>Isaac: Realize your friends are currently in existence.

You don't think this was ever up for debate. Oh hey look your friends are currently in existence. What are the odds.

You ignore this incredible development and make idle chatter with them on the memo. Sounds like Andréa got your present. You were worried that you sent it too early or too late.

>Isaac: Relish in your apparent sly dogginess.

You fail. You go to your window to see if the mailman finally came or not.

==>

You put your face right up to the window, and bend your neck backwards just to see clearly from it. Stupid diagonal skylights that are only 4 feet off the ground. Looks like the mailman hasn't arrived yet. OR MAYBE you simply missed his arrival.

>Isaac: Undergo explorations.

You head downstairs and round the corner to the hallway, only to find your dog sitting in front of the door. She's just sort of sitting there, looking at you.

>Isaac: Investigate.

You grab her leash to see if she actually wants to go on a walk, but she makes no sudden movements. You figure she's just enjoying the morning sunlight like everyone should be.

Everyone.

>Isaac: Go to your mailbox.

You maneuver your way to your mailbox in bare feet because putting on shoes in early spring is for people with much more sense than you bother to have. Looks like the mailman still hasn't shown up.

==>

You head back into the house the way you came, only for your dog to start barking at you. Dammit, dog, you were only gone for a few seconds, this shouldn't be an issue. Oh great now she's all wired.

==>

She looks at you expectantly, as if she actually does want to go outside. She's made her mind up and ain't no owner gonna tell her no.

You resist the urge to slap yourself for that thought process and instead just put her outside in her pen. You'll make sure to be able to hear her call out for when she wants to come back in. And by that, you mean hopefully you'll remember in 30 minutes to actually get her.
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blackoutPerfectionist

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Re: Your name is ISAAC STONE

Post  blackoutPerfectionist on Tue Mar 25, 2014 10:41 pm

>Isaac: Maintain contact with your dearest friends while waiting for the mail to arrive.

You keep touch in the memo. Something about a loud noise? Huh.
You prepare to buckle down and waste away the next hour when you hear a car driving in to the driveway. It can't be mom, though. She went to Boston a while ago, and she won't be back home until night time.

>Isaac: Investigate

You head downstairs yet again and take a look outside through the kitchen window instead this time. This window is utterly massive. You wish it was upstairs since you spend so much time up there.

Looks like the mailman has finally arrived. They seem to be earlier than you would have normally expected them. You're not unhappy about it.

==>

The mailman comes out and puts a couple of letters into the mailbox, then a couple of some strange folder things. You assume those are the game, though you honestly thought there was only going to be one. Did you get two by mistake? You doubt it.

Oh god the mailman is looking your way.

>Isaac: Duck and cover.

You hide below the giant window, lie down, and curl up in a shitty fetal position. You hate it when you get discovered like that. They always give you an awkward look. Probably because you had your face pressed up against the window. Or worse... SMALL TALK.

>Isaac: Cease disturbing thoughts.

You cease with those disturbing thoughts posthaste. You aren't entirely sure what posthaste means. Looks like the mailman is gone, though. Now's your chance.

==>

You head out your door as before, only to see your dog up as close to the gate of her pen as possible. Geez, she never wants to stay out that long. You pick her up and put her inside, and give her a treat like the spoiled brat she is. She is too adorable to say no to.

>Isaac: Get back on track.

You head out to the mailbox, and grab everything inside of it. Yep, those weird folder things are the game. One is apparently a client, and one is a server. You'd think they would modernize the shit out of this and have both on one disc, but oh well.
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Re: Your name is ISAAC STONE

Post  blackoutPerfectionist on Mon Mar 31, 2014 12:30 am

>Isaac: Go upstairs and get your sburb on.

You head back upstairs, dog barking at you once or twice as usual, as you head back to your computer and put the games down, as well as the rest of the mail. You figure you'll put a server up for Austin to work with with this server disc. Then, once everything is set up, you can log on to your own server with your client disk. This is obviously how it will work out.

>Isaac: Contact Austin.

Show Pesterlog:
BP: okay so
BP: i have the game now
BP: and i'm loading the server
BP: so
BP: that's a thing
AW: okay, fine.
AW: I'll take it out of the trash now.
AW: but as soon as alice is nothing more than wreckage??
AW: going back in.
BP: assuming you don't actually just
BP: love it forever
BP: yes
AW: did you just insinuate that I can love something that isn't Cage or dark barnacle.
AW: I don't need traitors on my team, isaac.
BP: of course
BP: i'm waiting for your connection
AW: is it not working already??
AW: told you this game was a piece of trash.
AW: really, you all need to learn to trust the gaming master.
AW: that is me.
BP: a korean mmo that takes me 10 minutes just to translate each quest into something i can actually read is the utmost of quality
BP: i can dig it
AW: obviously.
BP: glad we got that sorted out
AW: also, you translate the quests??
AW: fucking casual.
BP: i mean, now that i'm not in the tutorial, yeah
BP: i memorized those fucking tutorial quests
AW: congratulations on that by the way.
BP: i was actually
BP: pretty proud of myself
BP: during that raid
AW: finally seeing the real world after months of the lowest tier.
BP: for not dying horribly
AW: pride??
AW: that's a bit of a stretch.
AW: let's just stick with confidence.
BP: aw fie
BP: fine*
AW: especially since I had to focus heals on you more than a few times.
BP: that just means
BP: i was drawing the aggro
AW: to be fair, you weren't worse than anyone else.
AW: ...
AW: you're not supposed to draw aggro.
AW: THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF YOUR FUNCTION.
BP: i can do any unconventional shit that i want
BP: and probably just sort of cry about it
BP: anyways
BP: you ready?
AW: ready for you to cry??
AW: yes.
AW: ready for the game??
AW: also yes.
BP: oh okay
BP: cool

Your connection got established.

==>

Your screen does a neat little title thing that you could pretty much care less about before you see a room with a couple of beds, desks, filthy clothes on the floor, and Austin.

You see Austin.

Huh.

>Isaac: Lay down your stalking prowess gently on Austin.

Show Pesterlog:
BP: ...oh geez
BP: um
BP: so
BP: how you liking that computer
BP: you seem to be pretty
BP: not that engrosed in it
BP: engaged? whatever
AW: uh.
AW: what??
BP: oh there you go
BP: now you're paying attention
AW: I've had this computer for years, what are you talking about??
BP: the joke is
BP: i can see you
BP: keep it civil
AW: that's not a very good joke.
BP: well apparently
BP: it is now
AW: I've heard tg tell better, and that's saying something.
BP: yeah
BP: that really is saying something
AW: what, no.
AW: don't agree with the verbal annihilation that I am rationing out to you.
AW: just tell me what to do with this game.
AW: there's no tutorial and I can't see any controls.
BP: oh really?
AW: how am I supposed to destroy those who stand against me when the game is as functional as a broken cinderblock??
BP: i see plenty of controls
BP: let's just start off with select here...

>Isaac: Select a pile of filthy clothes.

Whether it's his roommates or Austin, his room really needs a good cleaning. And by cleaning you mean getting all of these clothes off the floor like holy crap.

You select a pile of clothes and put it into a box near one of the beds.

You just altered reality from your computer screen. Yay..

==>

Show Pesterlog:
BP: uh
BP: okay
BP: look behind you, do you notice anything?
AW: no??
BP: i sort of just cleaned up a bunch of clothes
AW: it needs more Cage, but that's always true.
BP: your roommates are filthy as shit
AW: well, yes.
AW: welcome to college.
BP: yeah, don't remind me
AW: can you send me a screenshot or something??
AW: the server and client can't be that different.
BP: um, alright then
BP: here, let me just load this up
-- blackoutPerfectionist [BP]  sent file: iCanSeeYou.png --
AW: what the shit.
AW: YOU CAN SEE ME.
BP: that was what i was implying?
AW: NO, YOU WERE JOKING.

And now he's flipping off the ceiling from where you were looking during that screen shot. You're so glad you dodged that. Thanks camera angles.

Show Pesterlog:
AW: did you see that??
BP: i saw you flipping off the ceiling
BP: yes
BP: i changed my camera view
BP: to clean up
BP: your pigstide of a room
AW: it's not my mess.
AW: it's everyone else's.
AW: also, more importantly, who put cameras all over my room??
AW: how are you accessing them??
BP: obviously your roommates did it
BP: their filth was all just a ruse
BP: to hide their cameras
AW: that doesn't make any sense.
AW: wait.
AW: ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS.
BP: conspiracy solved
-- arcWinter [AW]  slams a fist into his desk. --
BP: well apparently
BP: i don't have sound
BP: because that seemed like
BP: that would make noise
AW: yes.
AW: it was thunderous.
AW: my fist is a blessed instrument of divine punishment.
BP: i'm going to try out this revise option
BP: on this other room i can see
BP: why can i only see this room?
AW: on the other hand, this game is a stalker's wet dream but lacks sound.
AW: I don't know.
AW: this game is shit.
BP: well, whatever

>Isaac: Revise the floor of this other room

You drag the mouse across the floor, apparently selecting a large majority of it... oh fuck.

And now this room is gigantic with a bunch of clean, empty space. Oh, and blocking Austin's room. Good job.

Show Pesterlog:
BP: oh shit
AW: the fuck did you do??
-- arcWinter [AW]  goes and opens his door. --
-- arcWinter [AW]  returns to his computer. --
AW: THE FUCK DID YOU DO??
AW: I have to go get lunch in an hour.
BP: um, hold on i'll make a door or something
AW: well, if you can destroy the dorm in less than a minute, I hope you can fix it just as quick.
AW: fuck.
AW: this isn't a game.
AW: it's some twisted experiment loosed upon the world by a gaping asshole with no sense of proper design.


>Isaac: Make a door for Austin

You select Austin's door and hit CTRL+C: The universe's copy function. You successfully make a copy of Austin's door, and put it into the wall. Now he has to use two doors to get to the hallway. Oh well, twice the security.

Show Pesterlog:
BP: there, now you can leave their room after you leave your room
AW: i.e. when chris gets online, I'm going to execute him with a thesaurus.
AW: thanks, I guess.
BP: i'll try to fix it later
BP: i just hope
BP: that they don't get back soon
AW: the floor's out to lunch for a while.
AW: they're probably talking about sweating and other assorted stuff of the lower breeds.
BP: gross
AW: anyway.
AW: is there some kind of control for "make it stop, please Cage, make it stop"??
BP: i can't figure out what this deploy option means, but i doubt it does that
BP: nor does this option
BP: some sort of menu that's entirely blank
BP: weird
BP: oh shit apparently i've used some resource
AW: oh no.
AW: not resource.
AW: whatever will we do.
BP: accquire more, or maybe somehow remove those walls
AW: judging by the lack of logic in this so far, removing the walls will cost even more.
AW: unless there's an 'undo' option.
AW: (there's no undo option because this program is fucking awful).
BP: yeah i don't see one
BP: good guess
BP: here, let's put this thing in

After using 8 "Build Grist" out of your total of 20 on those walls and door, you decide to be economically conscious and put a massive machine that's for some reason free called a Cruxtruder into the new empty space.

Show Pesterlog:
BP: holy shit that's bigger than i thought
AW: what.
AW: okay, hold on.
BP: um
BP: look out your room if you dare
-- arcWinter [AW]  turns on his laptop and brings it into the neighboring room. --
BP: in the now fucked up hallway
AW: this thing has no color palette at all and the entire situation makes no sense.
BP: are you sure we're not high right now
AW: lazy-ass artist, releasing a program with beta elements.
BP: i.. guess so?
AW: I'm pretty sure neither of us drug.
AW: caffeine doesn't count.
AW: it's the lifeblood of higher education.
BP: we're the viginiest of drug virgins
AW: that's definitely a collection of words that expresses a similar sentiment, yes.
BP: okay, apparently i can only put one of these cruxtruders down
BP: cruxtruder being
BP: the name of that beta element
AW: this unholy pillar of unrefined art, yes.
BP: yes that
BP: i'm going to put
BP: more beta elements
BP: elsewhere
BP: one sec
AW: why.
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